Unwritten

By Jec Chua

 Ever since I was a little kid, I am always sure of the things I want. What I want to eat, to wear, to see. What's my favorite color, and what I want to be when I grow up. I never hesitated to tell everybody how I feel about things, and I always have the courage to do the things that I know will make me happy.

But things change.

I remember my Lola, who always say that people become smarter as they age, because the best things in life can be learned as years pass, and as we adopt to the changes brought by it. In that perspective, should I blame the time for making people so smart -making them aware about everything? Blame the  one who stole the bliss of their innocent minds now letting them see things in a more complex and very complicated manner? Should I blame my self for being one of those people, who became so aware of everything, that I let my self fall head over heels into the belief that everything that seems so real to me are possible.

I am not expecting anything from you, because I am too smart to pre-empt how you react on things, how you see them and how you take them. I wish you will be a bit more courageous to face the truth, to accept it fully, and be willing to understand everything. Never did I expect you to answer, because I never ask you to do so. I just said what I've always been wanting to say -Not because I want to know if you feel the same way but because I just want you to KNOW exactly how I feel.

If the time comes that you're ready to face the circumstances, I wish you'll be more ready to face your self, and figure out exactly what you feel. You may use the perfect words to console things that is close to being tormented, but never can you save it from completely falling apart if you will not extend your hands. But since I know you too well, I know, you'll choose the easy way out. Like the typical you I know, you'd rather act normal about it, and fix things by just letting it go, as if nothing wrong had happened.

If I could just go back from the start, I'll have all the things that causing the complexities be deleted from my memories. Just like a blank book, I'll have all those things you want to conceal be unwritten, exactly how you want it to be, if that's the only thing that will make you HAPPY. And will cure me from this sickness being trapped in the state of confusion.

Maybe you're one of those lucky ones, who has not been able to let go of that "thing" that makes people smarter as they age. Lucky for you, -you wont be hurt, won't experience the pains and ranting of being wiser and wiser as we wander through time.